有时候真的觉得把自己压得喘不过气来，

好希望有一个人可以依靠，

不想时时刻刻都逞强，

只想适当地撑下去。

也许太久没有放纵自己了，

是时候把自己释放了，

做自己想要的人！！！

有人说，当觉得生活越来越孤独，证明离成功不远了。

有时候却觉得，宁愿没那么执著，继续留在属于自己的地方。

2/6

suddenly i realise how immature am i????!!!!!! so hate myself being so emotional.........dont you forget why you get dump by him !!!!???? its because you so immature, arent you wana try to get dump by another one as well?????!!! wake up please ,wake up!!! no more status posting in fb...no more!!! grow up!!

假面具

突然间我好累好累，我可以不可以向全世界大声宣布，我不是你们所看到的我，那只是假象，是一层面具。我不是个乖女孩，不是读书形，不是乖乖形，更没有没有你们想象的那么好。我喜欢的是户外，我是好玩的，我不是温室里的花，躲在温室里只会让我窒息，让我透不过气！我不是那种规矩的，有男朋友也不能跟爸妈说，去夜店只能说和朋友去玩，玩到太夜，又不想让妈妈担心等待，索性说不回家，然后到男朋友家过夜。。这么多年了，我为了保持在大家面前那最好的形象，一直努力到现在，好像不是为了自己而活，都演了那么久，累了。。还以为摆脱了，怎么知道还是回到温室里，被人细心的栽培。有时候，很羡慕有哥哥，姐姐的，因为有哥哥姐姐，会帮我挡掉一切，走我自己的路。就好像我的弟弟一样，我不想要他走我走过的路，要他自己找自己的人生路，不想他被摆布，被限制。现在看到他享受着自己的生活，都觉得高兴，因为觉得他会有发展的空间。有时候，我很想干一件坏事，让全世界觉得我是坏人，因为只有这样，我才能被释放，做回自己，过自己的人生。。

[2 june]

This isnt the uni life i want !!!!!!....i want to share house with room mates.....party whole night and yet not act as an obedient girl at home!!!!!!! i wana move out!!!! out !!!! out !!!!!!!

[25 MAY]

My procrastinating mode still on until today.....i need to study !!!!! i promise myself to get distinction for every subjects......i so damn hate myself....being s lazy keep fbing.......arhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggggrrr

[ 18th MAY ]

i dont know why, i feel hometown better...Penang does make me feel warm than in Aus here. i feel so lonely tough with relatives and friends here...i couldnt feel what i felt in Penang..T^T i so miss penang ....with dear dear's hug i could stay strong........i'm completely alone and lonely soul here.....the ppl here so different in Penang.....i miss my home...my bed...my family......the family which all gather together........united......

[ 10 MAY ]

I have no idea , why i failed chemistry since i'm so well -prepared for it and yet last minute study for HSF and i pass for the subjects ....sighing

suddenly i prefer to b alone and freedom....feel all the guys around so immature......am i normal to have this feeling???

[ 7th May ]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!!!

this is the first ever birthday i had without parents around and the love one.....

i'm so free siting infront of my laptop doing nothing haha....no idea what to do no program at all T^T......so boring i wish i am in Penang right now to throw a party T^T........i miss penang

suddenly feel like crying for loneliness here haha.......

，万一不小心喝醉了酒，不要打电话给任何人，包括死党和他。

2，如果发短信息给你喜欢的人，他不回。不要再发。

3，如果没有人陪，学着一个人听音乐看书写文字。这是个好习惯。

4，爱父母，每周一次打电话或者抽时间共进晚餐。

5，相信一见钟情的爱情，相信总有一个人会在岁月的拐角处静静的等你。只是你要擦亮眼睛，细心寻找。

6，天真纯洁很好。但是不分场合的天真就会成为白痴行为。

7，对于不想交往的人，不要应邀去吃饭喝咖啡，哪怕只是一块钱。没有后续发展和希望的交往，会浪费人家的钱和感情，这叫贪图享乐。贪慕虚荣的女子会让人瞧不起。如果实在碍于朋友介绍的情面挪不开，记得AA制。

8，学会承受痛苦。有些话，适合烂在心里，有些痛苦，适合无声无息的忘记。当经历过，你成长了，自己知道就好。很多改变，不需要你自己说，别人会看得到。

9，穿有质感的衣服，找有质量的男朋友。他不一定很有钱，但是一定要能让你有安全感和开心。

10，如果有可能，尽量留长发。短发确实打理起来容易一些，但始终少了些女人味。

11，要相信自己，善待自己，让自己的生活精彩纷呈。不要误认为是要让某个人后悔，而是为了让自己的人生更精彩。

12，要有几个死党，独自一人的时候，保证还能有死党为你端茶送水。而不是声竭力嘶的嚎叫为什么说爱你的那个人不能来陪你。

13，买适合自己的衣服、饰物。适合你的就是最好的，所以不必羡慕别人的行头。

14，宁缺毋滥。不要因为寂寞随手抓一个男人，这对你和他都不公平，而且太缺乏责任感。

15，要穿高跟鞋，但是不要高的太过分。

16，任何时候，不要为一个负心的男人伤心，女子更要懂得，伤心，最终伤的是自己的心。如果那个男人是无情的，你更是伤不到他的心，所以 ，收拾悲伤，好好生活。

17，如果一个男人开始怠慢你，请你离开他。不懂得疼惜你的男人不要为之不舍，更不必继续付出你的柔情和爱情。

18，永远不要无休止的围着你喜欢的那个男人转，尽管你喜欢得他快要掏心掏肺的死掉了，也还是要学着给他空间，否则，你要小心缠得太紧勒死了他。

19，对你不喜欢的追求者的示好和关心坚定的说不和拒绝。即使他说，这不关你的事。

20，认真的对待你的工作。工作也许不如爱情来的让你心跳，但至少能保证你有饭吃，有房子住，而不确定的爱情给不了这些，所以，认真努力的工作。

21，不管和谁有了矛盾和别扭，解决的时间不要超过24小时。否则麻烦会更多。在可以接受的范围内，先道歉。让自己做做坏人不是件真的坏事。

22，不要爱上已婚却还对你信誓旦旦说会抛妻弃子迎娶你的男人。如果他们真的没感情，自然会离婚，而不是整日对你说些莫名其妙的话。

23，做个睿智的女子。学会从容面对生活。积极面对生活，生活定会如你所愿，如同明早，太阳依旧会如时升起

24，从现在开始，聪明一点，不要问他想不想你？爱不爱你？他要想你或者爱你自然会对你说，但是从你的嘴里说出来，他会很骄傲和不在乎你。

25，晚上早点回家，自己没有车，超过十点要打的士，或者让人来接。

26，如果喜欢一个人，在允许的情况下，告诉对方。也许得不到答案，但至少你努力过，将来不必后悔

27，如果决定离开一个人，行动要快一点，快刀斩乱麻；如果决定爱上一个人，时间拉长一点，看清楚是否适合你

28，不要为了任何人任何事折磨自己。比如不吃饭、哭泣、自闭、抑郁，这些都是傻瓜才做的事。当然，偶尔傻一下有必要，人生不必时时聪明。

29，任何情况下，背后不说他人是非。如果一定要你说，说好话

30，有一个最少两年内需要达成的目标。有目标的人生不会太无聊。

31，如果哪个男人说了让你难堪的话，原谅他。一个被原谅的男人最后会后悔失去一个像你这么宽容的女朋友。

32，一定要有几个男性朋友，没有非分之想，能在受到委屈时拿胸口当沙包给你锤，你也能帮他出主意追女朋友，并可以深夜里把他从床上揪起来去很远的地方接你。当然，首先你要让他女朋友或者太太认可你。否则不要试。不是所有的 事，都有完美的结局。该走的走，该留的留。是我的早晚都一样，不会溜走的…

[ 20 APR ]

dont know why this few days i miss daddy alot..... during school time daddy fetch to sch and even after school...even i forgot to take the stuff jusst gave a call daddy will send to me d........tuition going every where also dad fetch......so miss him.....

nice

老媽教我如何挑男友 (句句經典。姜還是老的辣啊 !! )

1，現在很多女孩子挑男朋友，直接就看長相啊家境啊。這是很膚淺的，因為一切都會變。男的老了看上去都差不多，而且家裡的錢也有花完的一天。
如果想挑以後能給自己幸福生活（包括物質）的男生，直接就看他對你好不好。只有當一個男的死心塌地對你好的時候，他才有動力去為你拼搏。你看看現在，那些 不求上進的男的，有幾個是非常愛女朋友的？反之，那些非常愛女朋友的男人，有幾個是每天混日子的？ （鼓掌！！！）可以說，愛和事業，是相輔相成的，成正比的！ （鼓掌！！！）
所以，我當年挑你爸，一個重要原因，就是.............他對我感情最深。

2， 我插嘴：這麼說，老媽，老爸對你好，所以你找老爸？也不能這麼說。男人跟女人不一樣，很多時候越是在乎你的男生越是不懂表達，不知道怎麼對你好。他們不稀罕去搞什麼送花啊、寫詩啊那一套，不代表他對你不 好。不能拿女人的浪漫標準去要求男人，會累死他們。 （鼓掌！！！）在乎你，不一定要天天討好你。 （鼓掌！！！）內斂、含蓄地表達感情，這也是男生的魅力！ （鼓掌！！！）

3， 我："那怎麼看男的對自己好不好呢？"你是豬啊！有人在乎你，關心你，怎麼都會知道的啊！ （鼓掌！！！）

4， 我："老媽，除了死心塌地，你還有別的標準嗎？"
有啊。一般來說死心塌地的男的自然會有責任感，有上進心，各方面......
我插嘴："門當戶對？"
對。這個很重要，雖然也很古老。
兩個人來自不同家庭背景，以後會有很多溝通障礙。 （我想插嘴被截斷）不是說錢多錢少的問題！不是看家境！主要是說家庭教育、成長過程、家庭環境、經歷不一樣，以後不好過。他跟你完全沒有共同語言。 ......這樣一來多難受，你也很委屈。 （反正我也不指望嫁大公子哥兒）
我：" 溝通一下就好了。"
那累不累啊，沒必要去改變別人。仗著他對你好，強行去改變人家習慣，沒必要。 （鼓掌！）
我：" 可是，老爸當年窮成那樣，你還不是嫁了？"
（老媽聲音心虛起來～可見，我媽的話不全對，大家看看就好。說不定到時候我自己都不會全聽呢～～～）這個......嗯..... .當年你爸爸和我家裡差的不算太多。你現在如果找一個天差地別的，我也沒意見。但是最好不要。門當戶對 的多好呢？
我：門當戶對是指家境嗎？
不只是家境。家庭環境、教育、學歷......你的條件比他差太多、或者他條件遠遠不如你，雙方中那個弱的都會有些自卑。在他家你會遇到沒有話語權的問題，不會太幸福......

5， 我："老媽，爸爸這麼多年，你擔心不擔心他亂搞？"
（旁邊傳來我爸聲音：你亂說什麼呢！）
不擔心啊。一個男人再怎麼變，本質在那裡。會亂搞的男人，一般之前都有跡象的，就能看出來。這種男的你不要找就是了。找男朋友，要一次性找個好的，而不是事後去糾正他。 （鼓掌！！！）
我："可是人會變啊，萬一以後變壞......"
這種可能性不太大，都說了，本質不太會變的。不過要是這種人真讓你遇上了，那就離唄。女的又不是為男人活的。 （鼓掌！！！）
而且你平時自己也要多學學好，婚姻也是門學問。你做好了，一般男的也不會亂搞。 （鼓掌！！！）
（老媽的聲音瞬間嚴肅起來）你要是找個會亂搞的男的回來，我白教你了！ （我：是！）
（老媽聲音冷冷的）如果他亂搞，你跟爸媽說，我們弄死他。 （瀑布汗！加鼓 掌～）
總之，婚姻需要經營，它也是門學問。平時，女生要多學學！你女生做好了，男的一般也會好～

6， 我："老媽，當醋罈子好不好？"
不好。你是嗎？ （我：是的......）
當醋罈子真是不 好。
一來活得憋屈。你得時時提防男的亂搞。女人要活得有尊嚴，活得驕傲。你時時刻刻心掛著他，擔心他亂搞，你做的好自己的事嗎？ （鼓掌！！！）
二來，活得累。你累他也累。愛情裡需要信任，婚姻裡也需要。 （鼓掌！！！）（旁邊傳來我爸的聲音：說的真好～）
我急："那如果有女的跟他特別粘乎，怎麼辦呢！"
你沒認真聽我說話嘛。要是他對你真的好，就不會跟別的女的粘。 （鼓掌！！！）如果他真的對別的女的粘，你也跟別的男的粘！ （鼓掌！！！）

7， 我：媽媽，什麼樣的男的不能找？
大男子主義的男的不能找。絕對不能。這種男的會重男輕女，會不尊重你的意見。 （鼓 掌！！！）

8，媽媽，妻管嚴的男的好不好？
你 說灰太狼那 種嗎？ （好潮流的老媽）好啊！他一定要是灰太狼，肯聽你的話，肯讓你沒事打兩下。但是你不要做紅太狼，不要什麼事都逼他聽你的，不要沒事打他，不要做把男人逼成 灰太狼的可怕女人。 （鼓掌！！！）一句話，找個願意為你當妻管嚴的男的！但是你別去欺負人家！ （鼓掌！！！）人家對你好，你也要對人家好！不然人家 憑什麼對你好！ （鼓掌！！！）

9，不要走的太遠，以後被男方欺負了都沒得回家。 （這條聽 的我蠻心酸的）

10，哎呀，這都幾點了，你廢話真多。 （冤枉啊，都是您在 講......）
好吧，最後給一句。
挑男朋友是門學問，挑以後要當老公的男朋友更是學問。但是前面的一切都有一個前提，就是你自己要做好。你先做一個值得男生去對你好的女生，然後才能挑別 人，對不對？ （鼓掌！！！）自己不行， 還對男生要求那麼高，那不是好女生，那是鳳姐！ ！ ！ （鼓掌！！！太潮流了，鳳姐都知道！！！）
你自己好好讀書，修身養性。脾氣要好。性格要好。你自己做好了，還愁什麼呢？ （鼓掌）

快去睡，睡晚了臉色差，你更找不到男朋友了！ （囧。是！老媽！）

[ APR 4 ]

Hi guys, i'm glad to say that i manage to survive and not letting myself getting kill by the 'people' !!! Such a great news right???? i dont mean to make the issue gone big but i really under the shock condition , i'm still phobia to see that person. unfortunately, tomorrow i have to see that guy which i cannot come out with good reason or excuse to pursuit my aunt i'll go by myself! What should i do tomorrow??? making him transparent?? pretend to sleep in car??? yea i should, lets pray for me to be strong as tomorrow will be last day i following my aunt, i'll get bus after that...hope everything goes well....may god bless me...

31/3

this time i really dont understand, he dislike me i think, i never tried to get ppl shout at me like this, i'm so scare helpless, pain ,and i'm all alone here......no body can help me...i dont wana let my parents know i dont wana make them worry. maybe leaving is the best for me,..this time i have no idea how to do, i never cry until sleep and wake up cry again........i should leave for the sake of my aunt and uncle..i dont know why, is this challenge given by GOD? he just bang everything and get so frustrated. i'm scare, i really do ...i feel unsafe to keep staying where am i right now, i dare not step out from room while he is around, i really scare.......please can anyone help me???? i'm all alone

[ MAR15 ]

I am so relieving that i have completed my nutrition report just now, tends to edit something after confirmation with the tutor. i still have many to go..iportfolio,revision, organise my notes....lots to do but not that loads...haha...its late and time to bed ...nite

[ MAR 11 ]

The globe is changing everyday,its like get mutated , recently we can see there are many earth quake cases around the region in Asia and pacific ocean.today i saw the news in Japan, a terrific tsunami hit Japan in the afternoon... causalities are increasing sharply, whats happening now in our globe??? No one know what will be going on tomorrow. It seems like a challenge to us human being, only for those 'fittest' to survive like in Darwin's quote - the evolution of animals. As similar to mankind now, we evolute everyday to adapt to the change around us, even the weather, working circumference..etc. And now its the largest evolution will be occur under the selection of GOD. We have to changed in order to leave in critic condition. I'm so sad to heard about what happened in Japan this afternoon, it a sudden news, have no idea all the friends in Japan ..are you safe??? Everything just happened so suddenly without any notice. I'm worried about the relatives in hometown, so miss them...

[ MAR 9 ]

逞强就要坚持下去，一时的坚强，会让自己显得更悲哀。

Have no idea why suddenly think of this phrase, haha..today i got the news that one of the member in my family is dying, i have no idea what am i doing today, its like the corpse without soul hahazx.....

today i'm so blank during the chemistry lab i so hate myself, communication break down with my partners, because i cant understand her accent...barely catch it.....

[ MAR 7 ]

Actually today is public holiday in Perth here, but nothing special. The mood here for everyday is the same no matter weekends or holidays. Its totally different in Penang, when there is holiday or weekends u can feel the different but not here^^holiday in Penang i could hang out with friends , shopping ,chit chatting or movie with beloved but not here. Everything is going to be different for the period i'm staying here, i have no transport to go around, for me is i have my own transport..Perth is really a nice place not the boring..depends on how you take it...at night i could have my choice to go for coffee perhaps and snapping job if i have the DSLR. i'm lacking of few things to enjoy in Perth haha, GPS AND DSLR. with this 2 i can take bus going anywhere i want to be..even to Europe !!!!!once i have all the gadgets i need..i'll start my backpack tour haha...i'll make my dream comes true and live without regrets in my life as i have enjoy and fill up my life without wasting it...maybe for other ppl i'm sort like spend over...but i have done what i want to be along my life, i dont think you got the chance to work out your favorite as you think money is very important and keep saving it....i swear at the end when u flash back ,you will realize you have lots of $ by keep work, earn and save.But you have wasted your life for $..!!!

莎士比亚说：

再好的东西，都有失去的一天。

再深的记忆，也有淡忘的一天。

再爱的人，也有远走的一天。

再美的梦，也有苏醒的一天。

该放弃的决不挽留。

该珍惜的决不放手，

分手后不可以做朋友，因为彼此伤害过！

也不可以做敌人，因为彼此深爱过。

刘心武说：

不要指望，麻雀会飞得很高。

高处的天空，那是老鹰的领地。

麻雀如果摆正了自己的位子，它照样会过得很幸福！

亦舒说：

人们日常所犯最大的错误，是对陌生人太客气，

而对亲密的人太苛刻，把这个坏习惯改过来，天下太平。

郭敬明说：

我终于发现自己看人的眼光太过简单，我从来没有去想面具下面是怎样的面容，我总是直接把面具当作面孔来对待。却忘了笑脸面具下往往都是一张流着泪的脸。

刘心武说：

对不起是一种真诚，

没关系是一种风度。

如果你付出了真诚，却得不到风度，

那只能说明对方的无知与粗俗！

安妮宝贝说：

当一个女子在看天空的时候，

她并不想寻找什么。

她只是寂寞。

张小娴说：

爱，从来就是一件千回百转的事。

不曾被离弃，不曾受伤害，怎懂得爱人？

亦舒说：

无论怎么样，一个人借故堕落总是不值得原谅的，越是没有人爱，越要爱自己。

刘心武说：

与其讨好别人，不如武装自己；

与其逃避现实，不如笑对人生；

与其听风听雨，不如昂首出击！

张爱玲说：

娶了红玫瑰，久而久之，红玫瑰就变成了墙上的一抹蚊子血，白玫瑰还是“床前明月光”；

娶了白玫瑰，白玫瑰就是衣服上的一粒饭渣，红的还是心口上的一粒朱砂痣。

东方生活选自读者文摘

[ MAR 4 ]

Nutrition Lab i had just now was awesome, we got to work individually to cook the burger patty and weighted it^^ the best was we could had it as lunch after the class ha ha .

Actually the life in Perth still not that bad..relaxing^^

every time i saw the people with baby making me craze and desire to have one haha, not sure izzit because of the loneliness or i wish to have one earlier..i dont understand some time i'm so envy those friends who get married early and have a baby, not like me still in university working out for certificate!!! after graduate i still have to spend some more time to earn enough to raise up m baby haha....i not sure what will i do if i know my husband is infertile!!!hahahzx...i'm so mean!!! choose to have baby rather than a husband hehe....my children will be everything for me....even a single mother i will also work for the best for my children...hahazx...maybe with the history and family background making me tough even i get divorce^^children are like angels in the heaven..so pure and lovely

[ MAR 2 ]

I guess i have know few new friends tough let me flash back their name

yvonne yow rui min same course with me, Johor,canning college

melody same course, Sabah,sunway kl

mei kei same course,Selangor,CIC

jade, art and commence BM,canning college

karen ng, account sarawak,canning college

sabita Nursing nepal,5 years in sydney

catherine Psychology,from CIC program

gillian OT ,2 years perth

shannen from interprofessional gp Human Bio perth

Naomi from interprofessional gp physiology perth

owen from interprofessional gp OT,singapore

Charlotte poon,singapore, pshycology,same HSF100

Melissa, kuantan, last year psychology

Sean sng, chemical engineering, penang, 2 more years to go

For today, i think nothing much to talk about. After the class start , it making me feel like the time is just passing by so fast. Today's class was making me sleepy, because the way the lecture conducting the class is like he was talking with closing mouth, i felt like hard to catch the point, i hope i'll be fine soon for the rest of the class. god bless me.

[ FEB 28 ]

Have to practice everything written in formal English in order to improve for my writing in my university's assessment..I'm kinda stress out as the classes are going to start off soon...i dont know what am i worry about...just feel like what if i fail to graduate ???? what if my dad can afford?? lots of 'what if'...its so silly to worry over ,as what mention by dear dear...i should be strong and face the problems without wasting my time to think of 'what if'...i should use the time to prepare myself for the future circumstances that may happen....i should use the time to prepare my study for classes and no more sitting there for the questions.....i can done it well...i believe i can manage to get everything under control .......i should be tough, i should be more confident...and should be independent...I started to feel some changes...if he and me still continue in this way, we may end up in the way that we are not expecting it to happens ......this is the reality, communication is a must in a relationship..sometimes when i need you, you are busy over there...or maybe you dont understand what am i talking about....i dont want to get it to a worst situation....we have to work hard to strengthen this relationship, it wont help with only one side is working on it.....please...i dont want to lose the thing i love....i wana prove to others we can make it through for this 3 years....if the communication keeps going down...it will end up like that....after saw the glacier rain, it soothed my mood d..i'm better now thanks god

[ FEB 25 ]

Just went to Bocelli down to town i think and cafe @ vic park......it was great because i know 1 more girls....recently i know few new friends...like Yvonne, Karen.Jade.Melody.Mei Kei.Melissa...i have forgot 2 ppls' name died T-T.......when can i complete the puzzle friendship of Malaysia map??? i have got BM,Johor,Sabah ,Sarawak, Selangor , Kuantan.......i need few more to go hahahzx...and yet all asian girls...^^

Suddenly i'm so sad flash of sudden history....that not suppose to be in my memory.....just lost

[ FEB 24 ]

it has been weeks ago from the day i stand on the land here, i keep telling myself to be strong and stand by own selves...but when the daylight is off i started to feel lonely here...tears with noodles just now aint feel good moreover making my stomach so upset.....maybe i need more time to change m life routine and the surrounding....i should be independent girl right now to stand strong in future.....university life will create a tougher personalities which ready and be prepared for every and any circumstances..i miss my family,i miss my beloved, miss my bed ....my dogs.....i miss them real much....before you tried you will said its easier to handle., but it happens on the other way round,...i start to miss everyone at hometown......miss my frens...even i make new friends here....also cant compare with those i know since primary sch.....the relationship and friendship are hard to cut off