[ Dec 28 ]

Quite fun to hang out with oldies....

we had

A & W - float root beer + double scoops ice cream waffle

McD- large twister fries, GSC- packet of M&M

Mamak- Tosai with eggs + teh tarik....@@

woot....first time have such heavy meal^^........

next looking forward with new year eve outing^^

dinner at northam beach cafe and forward to Mois wahahahzx....

犯贱!

maybe i shouldnt be so selfish for not giving you freedom....i think is i over estimating myself.....i have nothing for you,,...but you still dont mind i shouldnt be choosy towards you..its my fault for over estimating on myself ...i'm too ego ...too pride for ownself...i'm nothing....and i shouldnt beg for anything,,.......i'm so sorry for keep asking more..i'm not worth for requesting.....

perhaps shall think properly before i done anything..

[ Dec 26 ]

Why m i aacting in so different ???? i'm so kiddy rite now.....so aggresive, being not the one who i used to be!!!! its so difficult for me to control own emotion rite now.....its damn weird....one day he will be tire of my alttitude too.......

suddenly felt like i'm so fan jian why m i making myself so cheap what ever i done its useless.....

when i'm not there to acc u, but u beg me to ...when i am there rite now u left me behind alone....what have i done in the past ???? untill i get this karma from youS.......m i over react?????i dont know i just know a fact there is a chance for me to leave but u said wan mme acc u so i lied again and again......i tried so hard i dotn know what did i get the reply.....is that a good decision since the beginning????i'm started to suspect myself m i doing the correct decision>>????

i'm so fake FAKE FAKE FAKE FFFFFFFAKE... i'm like the puppet of others why m i making myself so useless...why...its really pain u cant heard my suffer....you cant feel the way i'm suffocated with .......when the tears drop u thinkk thats kiddy.......enuff!!!!!ENOUGH!!! I HAD ENOUGH ......I HAD ALL THE TEARS FOR NOBODY......JUST IMMATURE FOR OTHERS,.....

DEC 14

why i felt like starting from the last Christmas...i'm celebrating the first and the last Christmas with my boyfriend...is it because of the karma of mine????? To confess about my sins????

I have no idea.....i never celebrate Valentine's Day with my boyfriend , NEVER!!!! During the past two years....even with boy friend my Valentine's Day like nothing....it just like normal...why cant go go for a simple dinner.....????

However my in my last Valentine's , I was like hell.....in the deep dungeon!!!!

The coming soon will be my first orientation day in Curtin University !!!! What the heck!!!!

O yeah nearly forget ......i do own a puppy love style Valentine's celebration with A.T..^^ by receiving presents ....

Thanks A.T for the immaturity relationship^^ which like 'fairy tales '^^ for done alot of stupid things together......took rapid as transport to round the town.....cried and laughter along....

Will it be late to confess down here for reducing my karma?????

for KL, yes i do love you before.....i had waited you for five years for a simple action even few words will do but you had not came out with it.....so i' so tire right that time so i request myself to give others a chance......

for AT, yes i do love you but since i'm in relationships in the term of marriage so i had give up this relationship cause you are too kiddy mind set.....end up with no frenship how sad

for JL, i had give you two years time to change and keep your promise...i do think of give up my studies to follow you for the rest of my life but luckily i realise you are not the one will really will take all the responsibility.....thats why i give up

for AQ, i thought you are the best person that i could lay on you for the rest of my life cz you really a responsible and mature type.....but it turned out i'm not urs.....i thought you really meant it for the second time to date me , it turned up like you are revenging me for the choice i did in the past.....you dumped me from heaven to hell......i lived like corpse life ever after..

Now its the time for my dear one.......i really keep hoping we will end up in happy ever after.....i hope you will not disappointing me...i wan to see my dear turns out to be a mature and responsible man to take care of me for the rest of my life......the one who can give me a name of home and family....

DEC 8

So exhausted!!!.... really regret for partner with fren for cookies freakzx hahazx...though it is fun but tire and lack of time to acc my dear dear......so i quit now and do my own so that i have more time for my dear dear???? if i quit now i could do some at home .....and night i have time for my dear dear.....aikzx i'm totally lost...its last 2 months in M'sia...i'm going to leave soon and wouldnt back in a year time...should i quit doing cookies now????

DEC 5

Haha just back from Hadtyai....i'm so satisfying with this trip because i had lots of Thai's speciallities from the food stall.....it was fun to eat this much^^
this trip is the 1st trip going oversea with dear dear...damn enjoying^^i had gaeng som, som tam papaya, somtam manggo, khao mun gai, khao kha mo, tom yam kong.....etc damn love the food and the spicyness heherzx....really making fun around....having Thai's brown rice milk and special burger from 7-ll which is not a bread....which using glutinuous rice to sandwich the burger slice.....i feel like going again the the sake of food ^^ going to try out khuntai and annathai kitchen soon^^

DEC 4

You wont miss a thing unless you are going to lose it....

I suddenly realize of this phrase...yesterday tea time when i was eating roti canai and 'ti kuih' i was thinking of i'll miss the taste in Penang after i going to Australia.....

It almost a year...i still can remember the incident very clearly....i stated it as 'incident' because it really do ^^ i felt relieving because i'm going to leave to another place ...i have a new circumstance to handle so i have no time for it again and again...after the times in Australia , it will be better person for my dear one...if i said 100% to my dear , its really a lie..so i never said so...i feel bad to have the thought but everything will be fine because i'm leaving....i hate myself damn much for hoping much...maybe i'm like 'easy going' stuff to him right now...but i dont care cause i have an angel beside me now^^i still able to see the scar from the wounded area...i could remember how i felt before this...my angel comes to me right now...enlighten my life and bring me up as who am i...of course i have to thank him too ...for making me tough as i am and half to my dream...it is not about blaming...it was just a test from the god for me^^because i'm not a LAME person...i'm not a glass anymore...and yet havent upgraded to become iron...maybe just a concrete wall...and thanks i'm not that dumb to get suicided though it was going to ...my angel gave me another life...i'm appreciate the time with my dear right now...hope in the reality also having the phrase 'forever happy ever' as in cartoon's. ^^

Perhaps I had been a Christmas ‘present’ to for you to colour up your Christmas celebration…

Because I really don’t understand why…..i have shouted everything out today…everybody will knowing the story soon or later..i felt relieve rite now to shout out everything about you…

Hope i would manage to celebrate Christmas again...and the memories wont flash back...sometimes i felt weird to have all my ex around me^^ it is so weird....but sooner or later i'll be free of the 'back'...

Wish me luck^^

I'll prove to you , and you will regret by dumping me alone from heaven to hell without a single reason which made me to the hell gate

DEC 1

This few days keep busy with the cookies stuff until me dear dear angry d heherzx....

yesterday put him airplane and it was my first time i dont know dear dear will mad at me too^^

but dear dear went into 7-11 and bought a can of drink which was not our preference...because punishing himself for making me angry^^my dear dear so cute...and so sorry to him that though i have stop working but still unable to spare some time for him^^